Yani dayanmak ve katlanmak için silkelerken bütün benliğimizi
Ama öyle sessiz baktığımız duvarlar gibi olmaya çalışırken
Ve kazanmış görünürken derinliğimizi

Ne zaman ki, yeniden canlanır bağışlamasız belleğimizde
Bir anın, yalnızca bir anın bütün bir hayatı kapladığı anlar
O tiktaklar kadar önemsiz kalır şimdi
Hayatımıza verdiğimiz bütün anlamlar

Denemeseniz de, bilirsiniz
Hiç yakın olmamışsınızdır intihara bu kadar!


Murathan Mungan

Started to read the conversation with Sun Ra. Each conversation is like a short story written by Sun Ra. Surrealistic stories written with a bad, irregular english which also make me understand the unintelligible/strangeness of Sun Ra:) just want to write some quotation from the conversation -Bekely, CA October 13, 1984 by John Hinds, Peter Hinds- ...

SUN RA: I'm dealing with equations, see. It's not possible to block the impossible. That's the only way to change the planet. You've got to do the impossible things. Out of the reach of possible.
JOHN HINDS: Everyone is doing the possible. Right?
SR: Of course. They do it and they get trapped on treadmill. They get used to really the pleasure of it. The feeling that they doing somethig but they're not doing anything. Nothing has been done on this planet a long time... ...

to be contiuned with Sun Ra's stories:)

Nuclear War is the first step for me to meet sun ra :) Yes! i've definitely liked his music, his cosmic music. Last week i meet my friend
damoncan:) he gave me that album and a book written some conversations with sun ra(in 1984) which includes talking  about his music, his life, the musicians he worked with, his thoughts about life, world, planet :) Beside his music,  really a strange man, claiming that he was not from Earth, but rather from Saturn. So i m excited to discover about him more :)

http://rapidshare.de/files/10064966/sunRaNuclearWar.rar.html

Winter light is the second part of the Bergman's "God of Silence" trilogy! (and the best one i think) The film starts with the image of a service and ends with the same image.

The big director "Ingmar Bergman" has made a wonderfull story includes striking details, theatrical views.


It seems as a story of few people(pastor Thomas, Marta, Jonas ...  ) live in a small village,  who are wonder about the silence of God! But, beside its religion concept, this story tells the pastor Thomas. His hell lives in, his paradoxes feels/thinks about God , his emotionally dying
Yes! Thomas Ericson lives in his hell, because he has lost his belief and  connection to life after his wife died. (Gunnar Bjorstand is really great with his iced , cool face and insensitive stand as role of  unhappy pastor)



Marta, she tries to create an ideal love  for Thomas  to fill emptiness  feels inside her.
The act which marta reads the letter (wrote for Thomas) is the summit of the Ingrid Thulin acting at this story!

 
And the other hopeless and unbelieving person is a fisherman Jonas.
With his sad face and soulless eyes, Max Von Sydow  is great to make us understand how he  feels himself nothingness through the life.


While trying to answer Jona's question "Why must we live?"  Tomas lets all his suffering out but he cant prevent him(Jonas) from commit suicide:

TOMAS - Listen to me, Jonas. You know that my wife died four years ago. I loved her. Life was over, for me; i am not afraid of death, and there was no reason at the time for me to keep on living.

Jonas listens carefully.

TOMAS - I kept on living not for myself, but to be useful. You have to know that i used to have big dreams. When i was a child i wanted to be a very important person, and my mother used to protect me from every kind of evil, of danger. (...) me and my god lived in another world, such a special and tidy world, where everything looked perfect. All around, in the real life, there was pain and suffering, but i could not see it, i turned my eyes towards my god.

Jonas looked anxious, worried.

TOMAS - You must understand. I am not a good clergyman. I chose my vocation because my father and my mother were religious people, i wanted to please them. Then i became a clergyman and i believed in God. An absurd, personal and paternal god, who loved all the men but me above all (...) A god who could protect me all the time; from the fear of death, of life. I rented and built with my own hands this suggestion-god. You see, Jonas, my terrible mistake? Can you imagine my prayers? I prayed to an echo-god, who always gave to me benevolent and reassuring answers.

Jonas is nervous.

TOMAS - Every time i compared my god to the reality i saw around, it appeared ugly and abominable to me, a spider-god... a monster. That's why i protected my god from life and light. I pushed it next to me in darkness and solitude. The only person who was allowed to see my god was my wife. She encouraged me, she helped me, she stopped all the gaps.. my indifference to preach the Gospel, my jealous hatred for Christ.

JONAS - Now i really have to go.

TOMAS - No, no. No, you don't have to go. You must understand why i tell you so much about me. i want you to see which miserable person, which deranged poor man is standing in front of you. I am not a pastor. I am a beggar who needs your help.

JONAS - I am very grateful to you, but now i must go (...)

TOMAS - Just one more while (...). Let's admit god doesn't exist, which difference does it make? Life becomes understandable. What a relief! Death becomes the dissolving of souls. Men's cruelty, their loneliness, their fears, everything becomes clear and transparent. The incomprehensible suffering doesn't need explanations anymore. The stars, the world and the skies created themselves and gave life one another. There's not a creator of the world.

Jonas looks at the door.

TOMAS - You and me are both alone, we both betrayed the only human conditions.. to live with the other men; for this we are miserable, joyless and filled with anguish (...) You must live Jonas. Summer will surely come, darkness won't last forever. You have your strawberry field and your flowered jasmines. Think how much perfumed are they. It's heaven on earth, Jonas. It's a reason for life.

 

Being There (1979), is a provocative black comedy -- a wonderful tale that satirizes politics, celebrity, media-obsession and television.
The subtle film's slogan proclaimed: "Getting there is half the fun. Being there is all of it."

The politically-satirical, overly-long film about mistaken identity and the television age was adapted from a 1971 novel by Jerzy Kosinski.
 It s the story of Chance (Peter Sellers). Chance is a reclusive, illiterate, passive and simple-minded gardener who is also well-groomed, fed on schedule, and dressed in custom-tailored suits, lived his whole sheltered life on the walled-in estate of an eccentric millionaire named Jennings . His only knowledge of the "real" outside world is through watching television. When Chance's benefactor dies, he is evicted by the estate's lawyers and wanders aimlessly and helplessly into the streets of Washington... It was the first time to go outside, "real" world for him. He is confronted by a young urban gang, and he threatens to 'turn them off' with a TV remote control channel-changer  :)

Directed by Hal Ashby

It’s unavoidable that;
With her seven-octave range, Tuva throat singing, avant-garde improvisation, shaved head, unbearable singing(crying)  she becomes an unforgettable, unusual figure. 

Unexpected one is;  “Who stole the sky” is simple and easy to listen with electronic-jazz, rhythmic , folk melodies.

music mail to tuva (5:24)
who stole the sky? (2:33)
runnin' tapes (6:15)
predchuvstvije (3:58)
digital mutation (5:34)
electric city (5:37)
kaar deerge (2:24)
ohm suhaa (5:22)
amidiral (2:24)
temple of majtreja (19:29)

http://rapidshare.de/files/9505181/who_stole_the_sky.rar.html

Matt Darriau Paradox Trio: Flying at a Slant(1997)
Rufus Cappadocia cello • Matt Darriau, alto saxophone, soprano saxophone, kaval, gaida, clarinet • Seido Salifoski, percussion, dumbek, tupan • Brad Shepik, guitar, electric saz, Portuguese guitar 
Sand • Arabesque • Rythme Bulgare #2 • Andaluz • Flying at a Slant • Faux Clarinet • Balkan Suite • Phase (Mahavishnu) • Seido Nein

Darriau and his Paradox "Trio" (a quartet in sum, also has an ironic name for the sum -its paradox because its not trio :) - ) deeply investigate melodies from the Balkan and Middle East countries and fuse them with jazz sensibilities, a maddeningly attractive combination of unison playing

http://rapidshare.de/files/9498059/Matt_Darriau_And_TheParadox_Trio_-_Flying_At_A_Slant.rar.html